Luxury cottages fit for a queen

Accommodation, Days out, Website

Queen Elizabeth II’s impending 90th birthday(s) has been occupying us no end. Earlier this month we took in some ‘near palaces’ near palaces to show off some of our cottages located near HRH’s residences. Now we’ve moved into the land of fun hypotheticals – Imagine if the Queen stopped by our Bideford offices and said to us, “Dear holidaycottages.co.uk, I wish to book my next ten holidays, in ten different locations. They have to be luxurious, have space for my corgis and the potential to sleep five bodyguards and the odd lady in waiting, oh and HRH Prince Phillip”.

Whilst the pillow count may be out – here’s a list of 10 of our current favourite luxury properties.

1. The Mews House – Smallburgh, Norfolk

We selected this four bedroom holiday home because the outside may remind HRH of parts of Buckingham Palace. The Mews House certainly looks the part with its gorgeous swimming pool, and modern interior design throughout. Even the Queen would have to agree that this is the lap of luxury albeit on a slightly smaller scale than she’s used to, but with seasonal access to a hot tub, a tennis court, and a deluxe Tassimo coffee blender the Queen would have to be very out-of-sorts not to appreciate this immaculate and beautiful bolt hole in the depths of rural Norfolk.

Local sights: Holksham, Sheringham, Waxham, Horsey, Caister-on-Sea for its Soul Music Weekenders and the regal delights of Cromer.

2. The Tower, Selkirk, Scotland

Unlike previous members of the royal lineage, HRH may not mind staying in a tower for a few days, especially since this particular example is so well-presented and finished to a very high standard. This 16th century tower enjoys a regal, elevated position enjoying breath-taking views of the surrounding Scottish hills and countryside. Located in the heart of the Scottish Borders with the ancient marketing town of Selkirk only four miles away, and Edinburgh within decent driving distance this a fantastic base for a royal. We’d recommend the local trout fishing and in the tower itself, the excellent games room with its table tennis and board games.

Local Sights: Abbotsford House (home of Sir Walter Scott), Melrose Abbey, golf courses, and Glentress Forest the UK’s leading mountain bike centre.

3. The Old Manor House, Ashby de la Zouch

If HRH loves watching films then this house is definitely for her. Equipped with an eight-seat cinema, the Queen can relax with her seven favourite footmen to watch any number of blockbusters. However, there’s much more to the Old Manor House than sitting in the dark with your staff, this impressive private country house sits within 1.5 acres of luscious gardens, where you can make the most out of the tennis courts. There’s also a hot tub and a trampoline on hand. Sleeping up to 22 people, we think this eight-bedroom mansion would impress HRH no end.

Local sights: The Peak District, Springs Day Spa, Drayton Manor, Alton Towers and The National Space Centre.

4. Staniforth, Welshpool, Wales

We’re sure the Queen would like to visit Wales more often, so if our property Staniforth, Welshpool doesn’t tempt her, then we don’t know our imperial leader like we thought we did. With a lakeside setting and lovely grounds to wander around, the house itself is a wonderful place for a family get together. There’s ample room for 16 guests, and there’s even the option to hire in a chef to provide your meals in style. Staniforth is a renovated farm building and it has a marvellous home-from-home feel, it’s also within driving distance of some of Mid-Wales best attractions.

Local sights: Snowdonia National Park, Powys Castle and Gardens, Montgomery Canal, the West Midlands Shooting Ground, Welshpool & Llanfair Light Railway, Chirk Castle and Gregynog Hall.

5. Zen33, Brightlingsea, Essex

Everybody deserves a short break by the sea even HRH Queen Elizabeth II. Where better then, than a quick hop from central London to this underrated coastal town in Essex, Brightlingsea. With harbour views, Zen33 is an amazing holiday proposition for those looking to get away from it all but still remaining within striking distance of all you’ve put on hold. Filled to the rafters with up-to-date tech and tasteful interior design, it’s got great harbour views so Her Majesty can sit and watch the coming and goings of the yachts and sail boats. The property is perfectly placed to explore the Essex Coast and countryside, from quaint seaside towns to thriving market towns Essex has something for all, especially The Queen.

Local sights: Bourne Mill at Colchester, Paycocke’s House and Gardens at Coggeshall, Colchester Zoo, and the Colne Valley Railway at Sible Hedingham.

6. Puttsborough, Westward Ho!, Devon

Perhaps HRH would be amused by the flagrant use of punctuation in the name of our 6th destination. The Victorian seaside resort of Westward Ho! is the only town in the UK with an exclamation mark in its name. The pronunciation doesn’t do it justice either, so it feels wasted. Maybe the Queen can rekindle the extinguished delight in Ho! if she stays at the luxurious and modern holiday home close to Northam Burrows and the secluded Taw/Torridge Estuary. Puttsborough is a new house designed and built to reflect its seaside surroundings. It’s situated on the edge of the attractively bleak Northam Burrows which is great for big skies and sea side walks. One would approve we’re sure.

Local sights: Appledore and Clovelly, Instow, Hartland Abbey and Quay, Tapeley Park, The Big Sheep and The Milky Way.

7. Castle Wing, Kilmarnock, Ayrshire, Scotland

We’re covering our backs here, just in case the list needs to include a fort of some kind, here’s Castle Wing in Central Scotland. We think the Queen will fall in love with all the trappings of a traditional British stately home. Fronting 600 acres of private grounds, Castle View is an immersive holiday experience. Features include: trout fishing, MBT track, a working farm, tea room, woodland wildlife walks, a canine retreat, and a games room.

The castle is a short 20 minute drive away from the vibrant Glasgow, with its eateries, pubs, theatres and nightlife. We all need a trip back to the city during a rural break so Castle Wing is well situated. Castle Wing is also in the West of Scotland so it’s a different proposition from both of HRH’s existing homes above the Scottish border, which are in the east.

Local Sights: Located in Ayrshire with its golf courses, sandy beaches, shops, restaurants and castles all within easy reach, there’s plenty to see.

8. Jacks Barn, Abergavenny, Wales

Jacks Barn may just be the contrast HRH is looking for. Somewhere along the line she has to have asked herself the question, “Which wing did I leave the car keys in?” Sometimes you need your luxuries to be at arms-length distance. And this is what Jacks Barn offers in spades, opulence on a compact scale for two. Its features include an outdoor hot tub and a top of the range kitchen. Its views are as beautiful as any castles. So we’d champion Jacks Barn as the perfect getaway for a royal who’s suffering from an acute edifice complex. Well located to explore the Wye Valley and Forest of Dean in one direction and the Black Mountains and Brecon Beacons in the other, it’s also perfectly situated to visit the country shows and food festivals throughout the year.

Local sights: The Black Mountains, Tintern Abbey, Chepstow Castle, King Offa’s Trail, Wye Valley, Forest of Dean, Hay-On Wye and the Severn Bridge.

9. Upper and Lower Clearwater, Kirby Lonsdale, Cumbria

We wonder if The Queen has a roof garden to entertain her friends in. Well, just in case this is a new experience we have found the perfect remedy. Clearwater with it choice of two lodges has a garden up on the roof along with great views across a quarry lake. The property’s a beautiful example of Frank Lloyd Wright or Scandinavian style architecture, with its large windows and straight edges. It’s well equipped with all the mod-cons to make any royal comfortable. One could even try out a Scuba Diving or PADI course down in the quarry – it’s one of the premier locations in the UK!

Who hasn’t fell in love with the Yorkshire Dales or the Lakeland Fells for the spectacular sunsets and bold landscapes? If you haven’t then it’s time for a visit. For those on dry land there is an abundance of beautiful walks and cycle routes from the doorstep to explore. Room for 2 corgis too!

Local sights: Capernwray Diving Centre, Hill Top House, home of Beatrix Potter, Grasmere Gingerbread Shop and Skipton Castle.

10. The Tea Chest, Glastonbury, Somerset

Some of us like nothing better than a walk up a big hill on our birthday. There’s nothing quite like re-establishing yourself, even if you are a healthy 90 year old with a slow climb. Therefore we’ve picked this lovely holiday home in Glastonbury, because The Tor boasts one of the best panoramic views for miles and miles. A classic, ancient walk for a special day.

The Tea Chest is another small getaway for HRH to relax in and drink tea. It’s an immaculately presented cottage amongst the busy coming and goings of this fantastic and famous village. Well located for the annual Glastonbury Rock Festival, it’s also a great base for exploring the amazing county of Somerset. Local sights: Glastonbury Tor, Cheddar Gorge, Wells City, The Quantocks, Lyme Regis and Devon.

No matter how royal you are, we have the perfect cottage for you.

Posted by Ed on 13th April 2016